Wow, time flies so fast now adays it's actually ridiculous. We have just a few more days of classes left, then nearly two weeks off (to learn the courses) before finals hit. Once that week of potential hell is over with, I'm free for 4 months!! Weird. Time flies. It feels like i've just started first year, but now I'm done second year nearly. It doesn't feel real.
I have this reoccurring fear that one morning I'll wake up and none of it will have been real. The past year won't have happened yet. I'll be single, looking for friends, done first year, and searching for a high paying summer job (LOL).
Waking up, would I do it all over again?
Would I do things differently knowing how they turned out?
Would I take the passion that i've found, the changes that i've made, and run with them to new heights? Or would I simply fall back into my thoughts and life of a year ago?
I
Don't
Want
That.
The Lord has shown me amazing things these past 10 months- well more like past ... several years! And I want more.
I don't want to be the same as I was a year ago.
A year from now I hope to not be the same person that I am today.
I want to have grown.
Matured. Evolved. Progressed.
Whatever you'll call it. I don't want to be the same!!
I still want to be a man on God, wholly pursuing Him. Deeply in love with Him, passionately seeking His great name!!
I want to be who I need to be a year from now.
God has called every one of us to a grand purpose, and I plan to be there when He comes for me to fulfill my calling.
Every. Single. Day.
While there may be a specific day that is a huge divine appointment set up for us, I believe that God uses our 'little actions' to move mountains that we may never have seen.
I am the LORD, and there is no other;
apart from me there is no God.
I will strengthen you,
though you have not acknowledged me,
so that from the rising of the sun
to the place of its setting
men may know there is none besides me.
I am the LORD, and there is no other.
Isaiah 45:5-6
Matthew West - The Centre
God forbid I start to think I’m on a roll now
‘Cause I do believe there is a battle for my soul now
And I can feel the world fighting for control now
I must be onto somethin’
So help me hold on just a little bit longer
‘Cause all this struggle’s gonna do is make me stronger
This is the everyday prayer of my heart
I just wanna stay where You are
I wanna know how it feels to be
Standing in the center of Your will for me
I wanna know what surrender means
Keep me in the center of Your will for me
Lord, help me hold on
Help me be strong
I don’t wanna move unless You move me
---
This song just came on and I really felt it so fitting to my own personal struggle, which is more or less the same struggle as every other human being goes through!! Right now wondering about where God will take my life.
Where I'll live. Where I'll work. What I'll do. Who I'll marry. What will my kids be like.
While they may not be pertinent to the here and now of my existence, and while I still trust that His plans outdo mine any day of the week, I still wonder. It's not that I'm doubting it, it's that I'm excited and wanting to see what's in store! I understand that sometimes He will hide His plans from us so that we may learn to live in the here and now more. Make each day count for the most, instead of simply showing us the best and then me wanting it right now (without having lived and worked for it). I fully get that.
Sigh. Here's a spaghetti.
It annoys me that even as i say something like "so that we learn to live in the here and now more", I am immediately forming a defense in my mind against people (CHRISTIANS) who would attack me for saying that. Not that there's anything inherently evil about it! But they'd be sure to say things like "Well we aren't supposed to live for life on earth. Our citizenship is in heaven and we should ONLY concern ourselves with eternal heavenly things!!!" >:|
ADUURRRRRRRRRRR!!!! 4-SRSLY?? Like, you really think that I'm saying we should concern ourselves with earthly things instead? It's like you have some sort of disorder, that you attack others because you're afraid of it in your own life. So you pick out any little thing in someone else's to critique and 'help' them on, when really it's out of fear and pride that you are attacking them! You aren't HELPING them!!
Let me make that point clear.
You. Aren't. Helping. Them. By. Doing. THAT.
If you really loved them? And if you were really concerned about their theology, beliefs, even salvation? Ask them. Simply ask them.
"When you said this the other day it made it sound like you believe *such and such* about this, and I wanted to see where you were going with it :) "
If they respond with "Really?? Wow, I meant it like this *explains*, and actually firmly agree that we need to focus on these things." Then you've spared yourself prideful thoughts, slanderous accusations, and loss of credibility with your brothers.
Attacking them with your beliefs and shoving them down their throat, telling them that they are an abomination of the faith for saying something like that, is cause for me to question what YOU believe! Because that right there is detrimental to the UNITY of the body that Christ, and henceforth his apostles, so strongly preached and called us to.
I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought. 1 Cor 1:10
Finally, brothers, good-bye. Aim for perfection, listen to my appeal, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you. 2 Cor 13:11
May our dependably steady and warmly personal God develop maturity in you so that you get along with each other as well as Jesus gets along with us all. Then we'll be a choir—not only our voices, but our very lives singing in harmony in a stunning anthem to the God and Father of our Master Jesus! Romans 15:5-6
If you've gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don't push your way to the front; don't sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.
Phil 2:1-4
So guys, LOVE ONE ANOTHER.
Love eachother.
Love your parents.
Love your siblings.
Love that weird uncle with the funny hair.
Love the quiet guy who sits behind you in class, even though it's university and you probably don't know your friends' names that you've hung out with for two terms now because you forgot it five minutes after you were introduced and then felt too embarrassed to ask.
Don't worry about it though, because odds are they have no idea what your name is either =)
And if the quiet guy is a little weird... might be better to be extra nice to him before he snaps. Because it happens. People are lonely. People are hurt. People need love.
I'm not talking romantic love or sexual love or heck even physical love like hugs and stuff.
Talk to someone. Listen to them.
Actually give a damn about someone other than yourself.
Feel for them, because honestly? It's other people who can make us feel like we're a human.
You can change someone's entire world, by treating them like an actual person for what might be the first time in their life.
I've been there before, and let me tell you. It blows chunks.
But you and I? We can change things. We have the love and power of Christ in us!!
The same love that died in our place.
The same power that raised Christ from the grave.
And that my friends? Offers hope.
Hope to the world that so desperately needs it.
Hope for my life that I can do something meaningful and fulfilling.
Because frankly, that's exactly what I want my life to be :)
Cheers and peace out.
