I thought this photo was an epic way to begin my blog.
Well now! Where was I??
So. Lots of good news to share!!
God is fantastic!
And to be totally honest I have no idea where to start with these things i want to say.
I will start with a story!
The past month has been INSANE!
It all began February 18th. David and I were on our way to Sarah Mckone's final shindig before she bailed to the Daniel Company internship, when he turned to me and said "Have you prayed about this field trip to Regina?" (That i was leaving for at 8 the next morning)
I hadn't. Why would I have prayed about it? It didn't seem to me like something I'd pray about, it was a field trip! But I decided to see why David asked, "No, why?"
"Well I asked God about it just before i picked you up, and I really felt that you shouldn't go."
"What did you hear Him say?"
"That if you went you'd have a lot of fun, and it would be a 'good' weekend. And that if you stay home you'll be bored, and basically get depressed about it. And after you knowing that, He wants you to stay home."
"Oh... :\ okay."
I had already paid my non-refundable trip costs, but decided that David was a trustworthy source and I really wanted to be obedient to the Lord! So after her party i went home and spent an hour or so reading the Word and in prayer, seeing if I would get a word about it.
I didn't. The only thing I felt was a slight bit more peace when I decided that I would NOT go, over when i decided that I would. So I sent off the emails to tell people I couldn't make it on the trip. My friends were really disappointed to say the least, and I didn't know how to explain it to most of them. Heck! Haha the only reason *I* had for not going was that God asked me not to. Without even a bigger reason behind it for me to see!
So I stayed home and sure enough. It was SO boring! I tried getting into the bible, and journalling or something, but everything seemed so dry to me. By the end of the weekend I honestly felt so depressed. I knew that i was supposed to be home, and I took SOME comfort in that, but had no idea what His reasoning was, or if i would ever understand. Hahaha even right now as I am writing this, more things are dawning on me that happened that weekend. But all in good time :)
Breakthrough came on the monday or tuesday night following (Feb 23/24), when Sarah Mckone called to see how I was.
Sidenote: Sarah is awesome. I dunno if she'll ever read this haha, but God has put her heavily on my heart for like 4 years now. To pray for her, to worry about her, to love her. And I do... all of the above! Hahaha. I really do think of her as my little sister =), and love her as if she were! Somedays I miss her a lot, but I know Jesus' got her. So it's all good!
Sorry Sarah! Hahaha, I had to. <3
When she sensed that I felt down she started telling me to speak against the depressed feelings, to start finding and claiming Christ's promises to us that are in the scriptures, and then to run with those! And even just hearing her SAY those things, brought me SO much joy and encouragement and peace. Because... well I've worried a lot about her over the years, and prayed that she would see Jesus like this for a long time. And it was finally starting! I'm pretty sure i broke down into tears right then out of praise to God for all that He was doing haha. It was an awesome moment.
After her encouragement to dig into the Word I began to do that every day that week. I fell in love with reading it, and felt like I was seeing so many things that I had never seen before. I found some crazy verses in colossians, and philippians, and was reading these passages over and over. Trying to understand the wording of some, and just pouring over the sheer depth of the others!
For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. Phil 1:21
I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20
He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross. Colossians 1:15-20
These verses, and so many others, got me back on track to my personal love-relationship with Jesus :)
The weekend following this transformation of mind, involved some really incredible times of worship. The first was saturday at Summerside, followed by a fellowship meal with family and friends Sunday morning. Sunday afternoon I spent alone in my room reading the word and worshipping with my heart and mind and body. God is so good!! Oh man, I can't contain my joy. Even now as i write I feel the presence of the Lord around me =).
Sunday night I attended Millwoods Pen with my friend Stephanie, who I had met months before but only began talking to her the weekend prior to this, at City Centre. It was a decent service, good worship, and the message was actually pretty awesome until he came out with his REAL point that we need to be tree-huggers. Valid point for stewardship, but I think Christ is more concerned with how His bride is at the moment... But that's just my thought!!
Hahaha after that we watched Singing in the Rain starring Gene Kelly. It's pretty much fantastic. All in all a great weekend, right? Lots of worship, lots of fellowship, lots of the word, it was a time of so much peace and joy and comfort and passion.
And i didn't want it to end. So I gave Monday to the Lord and stayed home to keep it going! I finished off a book I had been working on (Crazy Love) , and started another (God out of the Box). They were powerful and challenging, and it was another really awesome day in His presence!! That night was worship night at Summerside to boot!
So i started sending out many invitations to my friends for worship night.
One showed up.
It was my friend Chantelle from Blessings who I hadn't seen in a while. So that was sweet getting to catch up and talk.
Worship started. Actually I should say music started, because it sure didn't feel like many of us were in the right mindset to worship, and were preoccupied with the rest of our lives.
Robs, my bro 'leading' the worship night, was the first to say something and suddenly stopped playing guitar.
"Guys, I dunno what you're here for. I think we need to get our hearts right before God before we come back together to worship Him. Go. Pray for eachother. We'll know when to come back :)"
So we prayed, and it was so encouraging for me. As soon as my friend Darrell began to pray for me I started hearing words from the Lord, and seeing visions. And I love being able to use things like that to bring encouragement to other people!!
It was like "After you're done praying here, go tell this person you want to pray with them and take them over there. Share this story from your life with him, he'll relate." Then I'd go do that, and as soon as it was done I would hear "Now go find this person, she left, and I want you to go talk with her :)".
So anyways, at the end of the night pretty much everyone there had been in tears at one point or another. It was a good night.
Then they were like "Murrey has decided to get baptized!!! so we're going to Arnie's hottub right now to baptize him :D"
then i went to Arnie and was like "Hey man, can i get baptized tonight too?? "
":| you're not baptized yet!?-WELL YEAH MAN!!!"
Then i remembered that my friend Jeff and i had decided that we wanted to get baptized at the same time, both being ready and willing.
So i called him up right then and was like "DUDE, i'm getting baptized tonight in Arnies hottub. Do you wanna partake in this awesomeness?"
"YEAH!! Right now?? I'll be right there"
So he got out of bed and got ready and came to my place where my surprised parents were waiting hahaha. I had called them with 'hey... so what are you guys up to right now? Oh, going to bed.. well i'm going to Arnies in a few to get baptized :P wanna come?"
So they came, and there were SO many of my friends from our church/house church/bible study there. It was so amazing. In the end four of us got baptized that night! And even better was that my dad got to baptize Jeff and I too!! So it was better than I could have ever planned or envisioned. The only thing I felt was missing was that Sarah Mckone, and Malika (and Andrew) weren't there. I mean if Jesus came out of heaven in all His glory that would have been sweet too, but I seriously felt Him there. And just total joy and peace and oh man, like words cannot describe!!
Me, Murrey, Jeff, Pascal
So that week was incredible, and has led to more crazy stories, and words, and times of worship, and new friends. And Yeah. Basically it's been crazy awesome and I can't describe it. The last two weeks were similar and yet totally different. I've learned so much, and the more I learn literally, the less I feel like I know. Which is reassuring and scary all at the same time haha!
Now onto my other style of blogging, things I have learned!
Things I have been learning:
1) God has a plan for each and every person. Like, a majorly fantastic plan. If you are a human, He's got a plan for you :)
2) We can realize these plans and potentials that He has placed in us when we listen & OBEY.
3) He loves us more than we can possibly fathom, and is knocking on the door to your life wanting you to let Him in.
4) When we accept His gift and the sacrifice of Jesus' death on the cross, we are free. Free from sin, from guilt, from accusation. The chains have been broken that we were once bound by. When we surrender our everything to Him, there is no bondage that can hold us back from His perfect love and plan for our lives!
5) We need to now walk in the freedom He has bought for us! Walk in His love and power and BE transformed.
So we need to start acting on these things instead of sitting here simply asking. It's good to ask, Jesus tells us to ask and He will pour out. But then after we ask, believe that He's done it, and MOVE!
We already have freedom! Christ broke the chains holding us, but we still have to walk out of the prison cell.
Us standing there in the cell with the chains already broken, crying "God free me!! Free me! Why won't you free me?! I'm still in this cell. Free me!" , when we can walk out of the cell, is futile!
God is saying "You're free! Now run after Me. Seek Me. Thirst for more of Me. You won't be disappointed. Crave me. Ask Me for more of ME! I want to give you more!! I want you to be with Me, and for you to know Me so much more. Don't worry about your past, I'll cover that. I've already taken care of it. You're with Me in the present now, live in the present. I've won, the victory has been decided since before time began. Now side with me, I don't WANT to be apart from you. I love you!!! CHOOSE ME!!!"
Every day He calls us like this. Calls us to pick up our crosses, and follow Him to that place of death. To consciously choose to die to ourselves, to paddle furiously towards His perfect love, or else we start drifting back down the river. It's what happens. Plain and simple. But THAT is why He calls out to us!! Because He wants us.
Everyday I'm one way or another reminded of the implications of my actions. How when i choose to love God, and love others, how that changes things. Both things in the physical, and in the spiritual realm as well. I think it'd be crazy to see how far the ripples of our lives spread! :D
I don't think i'd be strong enough to see it in this lifetime without falling to pride and thinking that somehow these things were because of me or something *I* was able to do. Yes, Christ uses us. But in the end? Nihil sine deo. I am nothing without God.
In contrast, the ripple effect of our lives occurs for good AND evil.
As much as it would without a doubt pain me to see, I want to bear witness to the horrible influence my actions have had on other people. How I sent them on a course that is far away from Jesus because of things i said to them, did with them, influenced them to do, or didn't stop them FROM doing. I think about these people and how they might be going to HELL, because of me. This breaks my heart so deeply.
I cannot even BEGIN to imagine the anguish Christ feels because of this.
I would do anything to go back and fix these things. To do something differently. Not in an attempt to lessen my sin, but to try and show these people the man i was supposed to be. Instead of who i was to them.
Unfortunately, I have no control over space and time.
So I must choose to live out each day NOW, to the glory of my God and my King :)
And at the same time try to tell these people what I've found, and lead them back into the truth!
Again, this isn't so that I will be seen as less of a horrible person or something, but because my heart breaks for the people I've hurt.
But I'm very curious to see how far 'good' actions go. Helping someone, listening, praying for someone, giving of your time/money, just smiling at people. I hope that someday I get to see how my actions influenced people to run towards God. How all these things that I do in the name of Jesus actually have an impact on people's lives, and seeing the prayers that were answered that I never went back to check on. I think that would be so cool to see the interconnection of it all.
As for quality time with God, I really do see that as being SO vitally important. When i miss even a day of reading the Word now I start seeing things in my life that i'm like 'whoa Carey! Where did THAT come from?" And then i recall that i missed reading the bible the past day or two. Basically it's pretty important :). And i've also been trying to be around things like worship music more, just so i find my heart more in line with Jesus that much more often. It's reminding me to constantly be in a prayerful and praiseful attitude in whatever I am engaged in!
The 'great cloud of witnesses' mentioned in Hebrews 12 is another thing that I've thought of more as of recent as well. I mean my whole life i've been taught "God is watching, so don't screw up." right? And sometimes that kept me in check, othertimes I've been like "pfft. w/e" and carried on with what i was doing, knowing God was watching and that whatever i was doing was straight up disobedience. The past few months/weeks i've been learning so much it seems, and really putting God more where He deserves (and desires) to be. Anyways, so it came to mind about the great cloud of witnesses watching us run. These are all the people who have gone before us in Christ. All the saints from the ages are up in heaven cheering us on in the battle we're engaged in! It's encouraging (at least to me haha) to know that even when we seem alone in our fight, Christ is there with his angels battling RIGHT beside us, and there are millions of people, fellow warriors who stood their ground, rooting for us from the throne-room of the Most High, hoping to get to meet us one day.
"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled."
The Lord is always true to His word.
Seek Him! Not passively, but seek him like you NEED Him to survive!! (Which we do, but fail to realize most of the time)
This is a brief excerpt from The Final Quest, a sweet book i just finished. It's this vision this pastor dude had, and it's very powerful and eye-opening to a lot of things. This is the Lord speaking to him.
"Those who are like Me are also true to their own words. Their word is sure, and their commitments are trustworthy. Their 'yes' means 'yes,' and their 'no' means 'no.' If your own words are not true, you will also begin to doubt My Words because deception is in your heart. If you are not faithful to your own words, it is because you do not really know Me. To have faith, you must be faithful. I have called you to walk by faith because I am faithful. it is My nature. .... Words have power, and those who are careless with words cannot be trusted with the power of My Word. It is wisdom to be careful with your words, and to keep them as I do Mine."
This too really blew me away, because i started to recount many careless words that I have spoken, or never intended to keep. But the point of exhortations are never to pile on guilt and shame, but to expose Truth and bring us closer to the Father :)
He is saying that we can walk in faith because He is always faithful. Semper Fi. And this inspires me to watch what *I* say and to keep my word. To be a man of integrity, who is known for just that.
These are some photos from my recent escapade to Banff.
I think that is about all for now! I'll write about the past two weeks soon, and have even more to share I'm sure. The Lord is good everyday, and everyday crazy stuff happens :D I hope i see it, and then can share it with you!! ....Whoever... you might be. No one actually reads this. I mean Stephanie probably will. Sarah and my parents might come across it. Other than that? Maybe, maybe Mrs Lagore haha. The funny thing is that most of you who read my blogs are already up to date with my 'life'! Yes, i have to put it in quotations because someone else might actually think i have one, and we can't have that.
So my blog should mostly be my thoughts, instead of simply events. I really do prefer thoughts and ideas, inquiries and commentaries, rather than simply retelling my day. Because I usually have more passion behind those things ;)
And passion, is what it's about.
Here's a video to finish off with. Ya know, give you even more to digest. I'm cool like that. Apparently my stomach is not. Grumbling and groaning like a grumpy cat all the time.
Cheers, love love.
Carey.
